Many people in early recovery believe that confidence will be a byproduct of epiphany: some kind of breakthrough, “aha moment,” gaining of new perspective, decision to “be different.” In truth, self-assurance is a byproduct of repetition. Repetition requires a place in the day: a schedule to which to adhere, a structure within which to operate, a set of rituals to which to pledge loyalty. One task, done, another task, and so on and so on until the brain has been rewired by sheer persistence.
The problem with unstructured time is that it tends to be filled with undesired behaviors
Left to its own devices, the mind defaults to looping old patterns. The easiest way to combat cravings and restless mental energy is to redirect them into more predictable activities. The easiest way to do this is to have a calendar to which to adhere, to script the day, to predetermine as many decisions as possible. The next time the 3PM slump hits, if the person knows that it will not trigger a drive to the liquor store but rather a stroll around the neighborhood, then that 3PM slump has been effectively neutered – turned into something else, a less harmful pattern of thought and behavior.
The brain’s reward system benefits from regular, predictable rewards rather than intermittent ones.
Substance abuse damages the dopaminergic neurons responsible for everyday pleasure and pain – in other words, things that are rewarding, motivating, and enjoyable, and things that are punishing, traumatic, and horrible. As a result, the dopaminergic system in addicted, recovering brains is extremely sensitive to both extremes. Stopping the use of substances leads people to expect that their motivation levels will return to normal, if not permanently increased, due to the deprivation model.
In truth, it’s not dissimilar to, say, staunching arterial bleeding and then assuming the patient will make a full recovery. It’s asking a lot of an underperforming reward system to serve as the motor for everyday life, when those neurons have been twisted and turned and frayed, and the dopamine release is less a rush and more a trickle. People relapse in early recovery because, in the first few months and years, it’s normal for the dopaminergic system to underperform – not because they weren’t motivated to stay clean or to contribute positively to their lives or to be a functional member of society in general.
Having a regular schedule allows for the rebuilding and repairing of the dopaminergic system, by giving it something regular to look forward to, something predictable that it can associate with pleasure without having to recalibrate constantly. It’s neuroplasticity in action. The same rehab programs that contribute to this process involve elements of regularity, so that even in early recovery the brain has something stable to which to anchor itself and rebuild upon.
HALT is basically a crisis management plan
Many therapists operate under the HALT methodology – the simple mnemonic for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, the four states that lead, in recovery and in life, to crisis. The thing about HALT is that all four are relatively easily avoided with a regular, well-thought-out schedule.
Hunger can be avoided by not allowing the self to become hungry, by scripting regular meal times. Anger and loneliness can be avoided by having scheduled check-ins with accountability partners so that the recovering addict doesn’t have unchecked, potentially destructive emotional energy to vent somewhere. Tiredness can be avoided by having a regular sleep schedule. This does not rely on emotional or psychological insight alone – it also requires a calendar.
The reason why routine is so effective as a recovery crutch is not because it provides strength in times of crisis, although it often does, but because in early recovery it often prevents crisis altogether. If a person is experiencing three or four HALT states when a crisis strikes, then they will have less emotional strength available to them in that moment, because that strength has already been spent, frittered away in the hours or days before.
Marlatt’s relapse prevention model is effectively a routine-based approach to staying clean and sober, because regularity is itself a type of strength – a strength that many people in early recovery do not yet possess.
Automate routine behaviors so that you don’t have to rely on willpower
The habit loop described by Charles Duhigg can be an incredibly effective tool for constructing behaviors that stick, for building habits. Nearly any behavior that one would want to cultivate in early recovery can be placed into such a loop: the cue, the routine, and the reward. The beauty of the loop is that the routine becomes automatic once associated with the cue, and thus one stops having to rely on sheer willpower to perform it.
That, in and of itself, is incredibly useful in early recovery, when one’s willpower is being stretched to its limits, trying to hold back cravings, regulate mood, avoid triggers, and maintain relationships one isn’t yet emotionally equipped to handle. An automatic morning routine, cued by the alarm clock, allows one to preserve one’s precious stores of self-discipline, using them in more important ways, such as resisting the urge to use.
Unfortunately, it takes a bit of time to automate a behavior like that. The study by Lally et al cited by Duhigg in the Habit Loop chapter suggests that it takes an average of 66 days for a behavior to become automatic, with the entire range spanning from 18 to 254 days. It’s important not to get frustrated when trying to build a routine – it is a long process, the length of which depends on the person and the behavior.
Sleep is the one behavior that makes all other behaviors easier
If there is one behavior that a person in early recovery should prioritize, it is sleep. Regular sleep, in turn, has two major allies: a regular bedtime and a regular wake-up time. The latter is considerably more important, as it sets the circadian rhythm of the body, irrespective of when one has fallen asleep. Having a regular wake-up time, in turn, can be aided immensely by morning rituals performed in the same order, which can help the body prepare for sleep in the evening, as well as fall asleep faster and spend less time in an indecisive in-between state at bedtime.
A good rule of thumb is not to spend more than 90 minutes awake in bed in the evening. Anything more than that spent staring at the ceiling or reading is a waste of time that could have been dedicated to sleep, and thus to recovery.
Confidence is not an emotion; it emerges from the regular fulfillment of the things one has promised oneself.
Bandura’s concept of self-efficacy does not have a solid grounding in self-love or positivity. It is built from small successes, the fulfillment of one’s promises to oneself. As such, a regular day, a day performed according to script, acts as an amazing confidence booster for the recovering addict, proving to themselves that they can follow through on their promises, that they can do what they say they will do, every day, over and over again.
This is a fundamentally different type of confidence than the one that so many people seek to feel through affirmations or insight or some kind of inner truth that they are somehow missing. This is a confidence that comes from the inside but is generated from the outside, one step at a time. It’s what lets you get up in the morning, do the five things you’ve promised yourself, and then go to bed at night knowing that you’ve kept your word. It is less about virtue than regularity. It’s not the feeling of confidence that many people desire, but it is confidence all the same.
Purpose is not discovered; it must be manufactured through regular acts of service.
Most people think of purpose as something that finds them, when in reality, it is the reverse. It is manufactured by engaging in activities that create purpose: volunteering, working a job, participating in a sport. Anything that has an end goal beyond simply staying clean or sober.
It’s not just about filling your time, although that is a part of it. It’s about filling your sober identity with other things, so that you are no longer “a recovering addict” but “a volunteer at the animal shelter,” or “a recovering addict with a side job in tech.”
External structure comes before internal structure; if you can’t trust yourself, trust other people until you can.
In early recovery, self-trust is not a given. Therefore, it’s important to use other structures to provide that stability, that foundation, that scaffolding. This is what intensive outpatient programs and sober living houses and meetings all provide – external structure to prop up the internal one. People seeking structured addiction treatment in New Jersey can learn more through Legacy Healing NJ. Early recovery is not the time to develop one’s own schedule if that schedule relies on one’s self-discipline, which is low and which many addicts are not familiar with prior to entering rehab. Aftercare planning is all about the transition, the handing over of responsibility to the recovering addict, and that transition should be slow and measured, to avoid the relapse that so often comes with sudden independence.
Here is a basic but effective example of a daily routine for early-stage addiction recovery.
It has the following components:
A regular wake-up time, ideally the same every day.
Morning hygiene and a brief, simple, easily repeatable ritual (coffee, stretching, pet care, reading the news/weather, etc.)
A check-in or meeting or meditation within the first few hours of the day, to provide stability and prevent the mind from wandering.
A block of 2 hours to do something productive (work, job searching, classes, a volunteer gig, etc.) The productive thing should be written down as a task in addition to being done.
A block of 2 hours to do something enjoyable (TV, games, books, etc.) or 30-minute exercise session. The enjoyable thing should also be written down as a task.
A quick meal or snack, if eating is something that the recovering addict sometimes forgets or delays.
An unwinding/wind-down session, 15-45 minutes before bedtime, to allow the body and mind to prepare for sleep and to briefly reflect on the day. After that comes the bedtime routine, which should be the same every night, regardless of day.
The trick to this entire daily schedule is buffering built into the day. The 2-hour blocks for work and leisure are good, but if the day goes late, those blocks have to be pushed back. The entire system is only as strong as its weakest link, which is why those “push back” periods are critically important. In other words, the daily schedule should never be built on the assumption that everything will run on time, because it will not. The day will always run late; tasks will always take more time than planned. That is why there is the buffer. It is critically important in early recovery, and it will become critically important forever afterwards.
Planned failure is the best way to prevent the panic that comes when an entire day is wasted due to procrastination.
A rigorous daily schedule is an incredibly effective tool for helping the addict in early recovery to maintain the necessary self-discipline and avoid relapse. But such a schedule must also have built-in flexibility, or else it leads to panic when a day of missed tasks slips by and the entire schedule is rendered useless.
The best way to combat this is to plan failure, to determine in advance what the most minimal acceptable daily schedule looks like. That way, if the addict misses, say, a 2-hour block of time, but manages to keep doing the 2 things that are most important to them, they can still consider that day a success. The routine is a scaffold, but it is also a buffer and a foundation, because the transition from external regulation to internal commitment is not something that happens overnight. It takes months and months of small victories, victories that look like the completion of daily tasks. These small victories build self-esteem, which eventually leads to the feeling of internal confidence, but they are all victories nonetheless.
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